The massive edit.

29785cd15536af03de188f2867e91e71

Over the last two weeks I’ve gotten rid of 30% of my wardrobe. 5 or 6 trashbags of clothes and shoes have been gleefully tossed in the back of the car and dropped in donation bins. Not because I lost a pant size (or gained one) but because I finally just reached a point of exhaustion when I opened my closet everyday. I finally realized that embracing a kind of wardrobe minimalism would make things a lot easier for me in the mornings and help me embrace a simple classic style that I admire so much in others. Now, I’m not talking about the kind of crazy minimalism that some bloggers advocate for (no, I will not successfully have a 33 piece wardrobe.) I am talking about a versatile, classic, quality wardrobe that suits my lifestyle.

That’s a mostly casual lifestyle folks. I’m a SAHM. I go for walks with the dog, stroll to the park, meet with other moms for playdates, and if I’m lucky a couple of date nights with my husband. The stacks of Banana Republic wool slacks and sweater dresses leftover from my retail days just are not necessary. The same goes for the piles of ill fitting tee shirts and long sleeves from the clearance racks at Gap and Old Navy; I feel like I’m a bit too old to dress like a teenager. I love neutral interiors and even though it took me a while to figure out, I love a neutral wardrobe too. Here’s the criteria I used to rid my self of an excess of clothes.

1. Does it fit?

I’m not talking about basic fit – if you can’t button or zip it, it should go. That’s obvious. I’m talking about fit and flatter. For example, I had a pile of dolman sleeved slightly too short tees from Zara and Old Navy. They fit, and are relatively new, but I realized that dolman sleeves and a boxy shorter fit are just not flattering for my figure.  In the pile they went. I kept all the shirts that weren’t faded and tried to only keep neutrals like white, black, and gray. Likewise, too short shorts (I’m 30, not 13) and frumpy khakis that I bought for one event and haven’t worn since. Gone.

2. Is it a classic?

I had a lot of items in my wardrobe that were looking pretty dated, like tons of cotton long sleeves with weird decorative details like ruching and floral appliques. They may have looked pretty new, but now they scream ” I was 8 dollars at Old Navy in 2004!” If it doesn’t stand the test of time, it gets tossed.

3. Is it useful or, will you actually wear it?

I bagged up things that still had tags on them that I’ve never worn – mostly ill fitting dresses that I bought last minute before an event and ended up not wearing. I’ve been just as guilty as the next person of holding on to clothes that I will most likely never wear either because I was trying to embrace a trend (hippie-chic) that doesn’t really reflect my personal style (classic and elegant, I hope.) I don’t need to have a ton of dresses, just enough to attend a few social events for Pks work every year and the occasional summer wedding. I also think I should no longer wear cheap dresses for important social events – a well cut quality dress that can be worn more than once makes a better impression than a trendy but poorly constructed rag from Forever 21.

4.  Why am I keeping it?

I’ve held onto a lot of clothes over the years because they were gifts or because of their perceived value (i’m looking at you giant  bell sleeved Jcrew cashmere sweater from 1998!) Mostly I just turned off the emotional voice in my head that said “oh don’t, so and so bought that for you!” If I don’t wear it regularly, it got tossed. If I wore it regularly but was damaged or worn out it got tossed too. Goodbye to pilly, faded  favorite sweaters – time to replace them with more quality versions.

What’s left? A pretty decent, versatile wardrobe that reflects my lifestyle and age. Lots of chambray and denim,  striped shirts, wool and cashmere sweaters, a couple of solid blazers and a smattering of more formal wear. I still have a few foundation pieces to get – like a pair of dressy black flats, but I really don’t want to just buy a cheap pair. I’d rather save up for a sturdy classic that will last quite a few years. My favorite places to shop right now are J.Crew, Madewell,  ASOS, and of course Gap (for basics I don’t feel guilty about sticky toddler hands ruining).  I’ve also been trying to pin outfits that reflect my style and perusing blogs that embrace a kind of understated luxurious fashion. I thought that this list was good guide for the basics that a classic wardrobe should have (obviously, take or leave what doesn’t work for you.)

matchbook50list

I still have tons of shoes – but after thorough editing I have tons of shoes that I actually love. Also, side note, when you are trying to minimize your closet you probably shouldn’t do an Etsy search for “vintage Coach.” Let’s just say my purse collection got a little bigger.

What are your strategies for maintaing a streamlined closet? I found that the pictures I posted on this blog helped me figure out what does and doesn’t work for me. I love Shannon’s posts about that too. It was super empowering to get rid of a bunch of clutter! I feel like I could still edit it down a little more! Now, if I can just resist those 40% off coupons from the Gap…

xx-H

The front garden.

You know – the one that only exists in my head. Right now all we have in front of our house is a scraggly patch of lawn.

IMG_4880 IMG_4879

Our house is practically flush to the sidewalk, and since there is no sidewalk on the other side of the street we get A LOT of foot traffic. We live across the street from an elementary school so there is basically a neighborhood parade in front of the house twice a day. I’d love to have a little garden there just to increase our curb appeal, but also because I’d like people to walk on the sidewalk, and not on the grass. It’s a partially shaded area that mostly gets indirect sun in the late afternoon so I’ve decided on some shade loving perennials to make an easy and welcoming front garden (and to hide the ugly gas meter!).

1. Hydrangea

annabelle hydrangea

I would probably choose a white mophead variety if I can find them at my garden center. Maybe a dwarf variety? Hydrangeas can grow fast and furious, so I probably won’t plant too many, but it will be nice to have something with a bit of height.

2.Hosta

hosta

I love hostas – easy to deal with and a million shades of green. My favorites are the huge elephant ear varietals with bluish tones mixed with a few of the bright chartreuse ones.

3. Hellebore

hellebore

I love the unique colors and appearance of hellebore (christmas rose.) I planted a few green ones at our first house and they thrived in a densely shaded garden so I’m hoping I can have repeat success here.

4.Astilbe

astilbe

I love Astilbe for a little bit of drama and color. The feathery plume is so pretty. They make great cut flowers too. They bloom quite tall and have a pretty kind of spiky foliage.

6. Japanese Forest Grass

japanese forest grass

I love the waterfall effect.

7.Japanese Painted Fern

japanese painted fern

I love the petite Japanese painted fern. It stays quite short, but has a huge variety of colored foliage.

8. Irish Moss

irish moss

I spotted this lovely ground cover at our local botanic gardens and totally adore it. The petite white flowers are charming, and I’ve read it’s almost as durable as grass – which is a good thing if school kids will be trudging over it every day.

It’s a pretty small area so I won’t need a ton of plants, but I’d like it to have a lot of variety. Of course, my plan depends on what’s available at my local nurseries this year, but a lot of what I’ve chosen are fairly easy to find. We also have to put in a front walkway since we moved the location of our front stairs and I’d like to add a rain barrel since our downspout is right there on the front corner of the house (although you can’t see it in the pic because it fell off, like, 2 months ago. #stayingontopofthings

So! That’s the plan for the front garden. Meanwhile  Pk is till out of town and contractor Sean is pouring footings for our new back deck. I’m watching my brother’s very energetic dog for the week. He gets along great with our dog, but they never stop playing – it’s a bit exhausting for everyone. Also, I’m the only mammal in my house who didn’t pee on the floor yesterday #goodthingimhousetrained

Sorry, I’ll stop it with the hashtag thing. I don’t even use twitter! Hope you all are well.

xxH

all images via BHG

dirt farm.

You know you’re in for a fun day when this guy shows up at your house on a Saturday morning.

seansombrero

Especially when he brings this beast.

IMG_4748

Let’s rewind. The reason we needed to bring in a bobcat to rip out our entire yard was because it looked like this.

IMG_4744

I don’t really have to explain do I? It’s the shame of the neighborhood. Heaping and uneven mounds of dirt, patchy weeds, and general ugliness. It also sloped toward the house which is a major no no for drainage. Sean made relatively quick work of it, but it still took most of the day to remove about 20 yards dirt. There were a few terrifying moments – mostly the hour long period when we thought he might be stuck, but he and Pk prevailed!

IMG_4753

Here’s a view from our upstairs bedroom. I’m sure our neighbors were relieved to see the yard being worked on. Now if I can just convince them to rip out that fence! (it’s in the works folks. One thing at a time!) On Saturday and Sunday we worked on grading and drainage.

IMG_4773The pit is for drainage. We decided to add a low deck close to the house and the trench will help direct water away from our foundation. Unfortunately the space was too tight for the bobcat so we had to excavate that area by hand which took ALL DAY Sunday. I’m still sore.

IMG_4759Basically the area closer to the house that will be covered by the deck is more sharply graded toward the  drainage pit. We will lay down plastic sheeting to direct the water away from the foundation and toward the drainage pit where it will slowly filter into the surrounding soil.It will all be covered with gravel which will be hidden under the deck.

IMG_4774Once the deck area was excavated we started to work on tilling and amending the area where the sod would be laid. We added peat moss, organic much and manure. I thought we would till it, and leave it there for a week since Pk was headed out of town, but when Pete went to return the tiller he decided to go ahead and by the sod.  Mind you, this was on Memorial Day and we were leaving for a bbq in an hour and a half (needless to say, I didn’t make the salad I had promised to bring; thankfully I had an understanding hostess). After a frantic text to Sean he appeared with a magical mixture of fertilizer and chicken poop for the sod prep. It’s a good friend who brings you chicken shit and corn gluten when you need it.

IMG_4780

 

Within two hours – we had a new lawn!

IMG_4800

IMG_4785

 

IMG_4798

Just in time, too. We have had rain every.single.day since Monday night. It’s GREAT for the new lawn – not so good for the  mud pit we excavated to  prepare for our new deck. I won’t have more after photos until we make a bit more progress, but I thought I ought to update since I took such a long break from posting this week. One bad thing – I think all the chaos and noise scared our cat away. She’s been missing since last Friday:( She has a microchip and was wearing a collar, but she’s never been gone this long before. Fingers crossed that she’ll reappear soon and be able to sun herself on the new deck.

I hope you all had a great memorial day weekend! Pete’s leaving town tonight, but hopefully Sean will be back to make some progress this week. I’m going to fantasize about building a new fence.

xx-H

Trash to Treasure

We live in a dense urban area where metal scavenging is a serious business. There is an entire cadre of folks who drive through the alleys of our fair city picking up metal garbage to recycle for cash. In some ways it’s kind of awesome – you can always get rid of metal scrap just by tossing it on your curb or in your alley. It will most likely get picked up within 20 minutes. The downside? There is almost never any good metal treasures left out for me to find on my long walks with Lucy. I routinely see scrapping trucks drive by with complete patio sets tumbled in the back that just need a good sanding and some rustoleum. Luckily, a couple of weeks ago, Pete and Lucy and I were biking on a Sunday and happened to find this.

IMG_4623

IMG_4624

Clearly, this picnic table had seen better days. The top and bench were totally rotted and the paint was flaking off the metal base. I knew it would be fairly straightforward to add a new top so I begged Pete to drive the truck back to pick it up. I can’t believe it was still there! It was on a Sunday though, so I’m guessing the scrappers were at church. We hauled that bad boy home and took off the top and benches, which basically disintegrated in our hands. It was really easy to just unbolt the pieces from the sturdy metal frame.

IMG_4626

 

We scrubbed it down with a wire brush and then used a drill with a wire brush attachment to strip as much paint as possible. This thing had years of porch paint on it. We bought some of my favorite paint (Rustoleum high performance enamel) and Pete went to town. We replaced the top and bench seats with cedar and gave the wood a coat of Thompson’s Water Seal.

IMG_4709 IMG_4711 IMG_4710 IMG_4707

 

I love the bright color and the fresh cedar. This things is solid as a rock. I love that you can fit a ton of kids on the benches and that the cedar is naturally rot resistant.  I was planning to buy an outdoor patio set this year once we made a little progress with the backyard so finding and revamping this beast saved us between 500-1000 bucks. We just need to by an offset patio umbrella (oh and finish landscaping the backyard, build the deck, and replace the fence) but at least we have a place to eat!

Speaking of landscaping, Pete and our contractor Sean are spending memorial day weekend using a bobcat to dig out and level our back yard. You can see in the pictures where we started to do it by hand, by after a couple hours of digging  we realized that we really need to use heavy machinery to deal with the amount of dirt that has to be removed. Our yard is about six inches higher than our neighbor’s yard and slopes toward our house (!!!) So removing the dirt and debris and sloping the yard toward the street should help a lot with drainage. We still haven’t decided whether to plant seed or lay sod, but I’m looking forward to having a green yard instead of a mud pit.

How about you guys? Got big DIY plans for Memorial day weekend?

xx-H

ps. Thanks again for all your thoughtful emails, texts and calls. Pete and I really appreciate all your support.

Our luck.

Sorry for the long delay in posting – I just couldn’t get my brain wrapped around anything else but our IVF cycle.

It didn’t work.

Well, that’s not strictly true. I had a few days of positive tests (even on mother’s day!), only to find out that my initial HCG (the measurable hormone of pregnancy) was way too low, and then today’s level was even lower. In technical terms it’s probably considered a chemical pregnancy; meaning that while home pregnancy tests and my blood-work showed it’s existence; it was over before it really got established. Luckily we have 3 frozen embryos from this cycle and today I got the go ahead to try a frozen embryo transfer immediately. FETs are much less hard on your body than a regular fresh IVF cycle because you don’t have to take ovarian stimulating hormones, you just have to get the timing of the transfer right and hope that your embryos survive the thawing process. Last year we got pregnant after an FET of embryos from our first IVF cycle in 2010 (that produced Lucy) but I lost that pregnancy  - exactly a year ago today.

Kind of poetic timing. Or at least really sad.

I feel… okay I guess? Sad, definitely. Frustrated and a little confused – sort of worried that maybe we have something else going on with our embryos – maybe a genetic issue that’s arresting their development? Or perhaps an immune issue that hasn’t been uncovered? Chemical pregnancies and miscarriages happen all the time under normal circumstances (doctors estimate that 40-70 percent of pregnancies end before they are even detected) so they don’t necessarily indicate an unusual fertility problem, but I can’t help but wonder.

Thanks for all of your good wishes and positive vibes sent our way. It means so much to me and Pk to have support during this very trying process. I’m really glad that we can keep trying and have my fingers crossed that this next round  will be successful for us. If I haven’t mentioned it before – knowing how lucky we are to have Lucy in our lives gives me a huge sense of gratitude and humility everyday. Every life is a miracle, and I’ll be squeezing her a little harder today.

-H

and now we wait.

IMG_4236

We made it through our transfer and now we just…wait. No doubt the waiting is the hardest part of any fertility treatment –  just kidding – getting through embryo transfer with a very full bladder while a nurse leans on your uterus with an ultrasound wand is probably the hardest (I kid! I kid! – but really the receptionist told me that I wouldn’t be the first patient to pee on my doctor; thankfully I didn’t.) Your bladder has to be super full during transfer because liquid conducts ultrasound waves and the doctor has to see your uterus very clearly to place the embryos. You lay on the table for 20 minutes and then they push you out the door with a “good luck” and “the bill is in the mail” Not really the last part…

This period of time is  called the dreaded TWW (two-week-wait) in fertility support board parlance. The shots are over, no more constant blood work and appointments, no more check in calls – just waiting (still lots of pills though – yay hormones!) Theoretically you are supposed to wait until your official blood test from your doctor to determine  whether you were successful or not – my discharge nurse specifically told me not to test at home, but that’s kind of like dropping an alcoholic off at a bar and telling them not to order a Glenlivet, easy ice and a splash of water please. I tested early with Lucy, and with the baby that I miscarried last year – I will probably test again early this time.

I realize that this whole process has mightily distracted me from the blog – it’s hard to think about posts when I’m busy obsessing about this family building business. I think from now on I’ll be mum (what a pun!) on the possible pregnancy talk – at least until we know for sure whether we were successful or not. I have lots of updates to share about the progress of the studio and our plans for the back yard, but obviously right now my mind is occupied with other things. And, of course – it’s spring! glorious beautiful and amazing spring – the only warm time of year when we leave our windows open all the time and lounge around outside without fear of being eaten alive by mosquitos. We’ve been spending as much time as possible outside – nothing makes Lucy happier than digging in the dirt with her little plastic shovel. I hope you and yours are well and enjoying the warmer weather.

xx-H

may day!

Hey – I promise I’m still here. I’m just totally distracted by the amazing weather (85 and sunny for May Day? Crazy!) and looking forward to my (our?) egg retrieval tomorrow. Mostly I’ve been outside doing this…IMG_4565gah! my face looks so swollen from huge quantities of estrogen, but I wanted to share this because it’s what we’ve been doing as soon as we wake up every day…

IMG_4468

and this, every afternoon

IMG_4508

Meanwhile our contractor/best friend Sean has been coming to work extra early (so he can watch Lucy while I go to my monitoring appointments) and also because he’s hustling on the garage/studio. I’m not sure where “babysitting for client’s child during her infertility appointments” falls under our renovation budget, but he doesn’t seem to mind. They are besties.

IMG_4564IMG_4481

IMG_4563 IMG_4560This week he added a couple windows above where my sink will be and built a storage loft above the doors (that are being replaced with custom carriage doors.) He added some LED can lights underneath so that the area underneath the loft isn’t too dark and installed an exhaust fan so that I can cool down the space and vent out any fumes from work. Honestly I can’t get enough of the space – it just feels good to be in there with all that bright natural light. Insulation should be going in this week when the weather cools off and then we are ready for plywood sheathing.

On the IVF front… our egg retrieval is tomorrow, which I’m thrilled about because my swollen ovaries are making me look about 4 months pregnant, not to mention being seriously uncomfortable. Hopefully things will go well with fertilization and in about five days they’ll be transferring two babies (embryos officially) back where they belong. I feel… cautiously optimistic? and nervous – there are still a few more hurdles to cross, but right now I’m trying to send out as much love and positive energy I can into the universe. Pk and I are so lucky that we get to try this, so lucky to already have the miracle that is Lucy, and super fortunate to have an excellent doctor. If you’re into that sort of thing, send some positive vibes, wishes, and prayers our way. We’d appreciate it.

xoxo Helen

garage studio update.

Here’s what’s happening folks. Our contractor Sean has been making tons of progress on the garage/studio. He’s entirely reframed it from the inside out -

IMG_4357It was super dark in there (the above pic was taken from the door which was the only source of natural light. He added the skylights-

IMG_4363What a difference just one made! But we added 3 more…

IMG_4388Today he is putting on a new roof.

IMG_4384

My back yard is UTTER CHAOS right now, but that’s ok because progress is happening at a break neck pace. The roof will get finished over the weekend and then we will move on to insulation. We thought long and hard about using spray foam but it’s just too expensive for the budget (prob would be somewhere around 2-3k.) Instead we are going to use standard fiberglass batts, but we will probably spring for batts with a higher R-value since adding the interior framing made for deeper joist pockets. We also are thinking about doing a floor like this one – it’s an added expense, but I think its perfect for this application. It’s a floating flooring system so we can take it with us if we ever move, and it insulates the concrete slab floor which will make the space much more comfortable in winter. We still have to add windows looking into the backyard and the plywood sheathing ( which we are using instead of drywall). Sean will install the beautiful carriage doors he built, then electrical (which we are running exterior of the plywood for flexibility) – then done!

Focusing on this stuff is the perfect distraction from our ongoing ivf cycle, I’ve been on stims for about a week and then the real fun (egg retrieval and embryo transfer) will likely happen next week. I’ve had fewer monitoring appointments than I expected, but I have one tomorrow bright and early an hours drive away. Not an ideal way to spend a Saturday morning, but I’m hoping to hear that everything is right on track. My moods are all over the place, but it’s hard not to be cheerful when the weather is this perfect (65 and sunny all weekend long!)

Hope you all are well.

xx-H

pictures of Lucy from behind, instagram edition.

IMG_4352 IMG_4351 IMG_4350 IMG_4349 IMG_4315 IMG_4345 IMG_4346 IMG_4348This poor sick baby – not sick enough to stay home and rest, but sick enough to be a crab apple. I snapped these pics on some of our few outside moments. The weather is finally better (despite last week’s rains and flooded basement, oy.) I keep hoping the fresh air will do her some good, but this is one slow going head cold/ sinus infection. Lucy has decided that she no longer wants to cooperate when it’s time to take antibiotics so I’ve resorted to a combination of wrestling and bribery. Are they helping? I don’t know… she still sounds and feels bad, but at least has no more crazy high fever. She is taking three hour naps and snoring louder than her dad every night, but at least she’s sleeping. I can almost excuse the wild temper tantrums she’s been throwing lately (almost.) They are so foreign to me, like when she did figure out that this was a way to communicate her frustration? Where is my angelic toddler? Who is this tiny screaming spitfire? Should I blame the antibiotics? The sinus infection? Distracted parenting?

I started the stimulation part of our IVF cycle last night. Now I’ll have more frequent monitoring appointments – every 48 to 72 hours for the next 9-12 days, until our doctor thinks that my eggs are fully cooked at which point we’ll schedule our retrieval. The cruelest part of IVF is the unpredictability. Want to RSVP to something? Sorry – there is no way to plan ahead. Need to schedule a meeting?  you may or may not be able to attend. Trying to take a trip? Nope – you have to be available for monitoring appointments. Will you or won’t you be pregnant? Will it work? I find it ironic that so many people (normal, fertile people) can schedule their lives around their planned pregnancy and I plan (or un-plan, as it were) my life around our infertility treatments.

I think some people find solace in statistics and information; I know I did during my first cycle that resulted in Lucy. IVF is so unpredictable that it makes sense to want to absorb whatever info you can find. You want to predict every possible outcome. Here’s what I know now. You can’t. You can’t possibly predict what will happen – whether your cycle will be successful, whether it will be cancelled, whether you’ll make it to transfer day, whether you’ll have embryos to freeze so you can try again later, whether it will work and you’ll get pregnant, whether or not you will carry that pregnancy to term. My doctor said it best during one of the million appointments you have prior to actually starting the process – “You are over one hurdle.” Just one. It really is like a hurdles race – you have cross each hurdle, each step in the process, and immediately prepare yourself for another one. This time around I’m not so vigilant about reading all the statistics and comparing my experience to other people’s, partly because I’ve been through it before and partly because I’m trying to keep the stress level low. This time I’m kind of just riding the wave, following my doctors instructions, trying to fit in extra rest when I can, and preparing myself for the next hurdle. Pk is gone for a quick trip around the world, but he’ll be back mid week – when I’ll be good and dosed up on hormones (excited honey?) There’s a kind of great relief in not being hyper vigilant this time around. We’ve set this process in motion and now we’ll see it through, whatever the outcome. Fingers crossed.

xo-H

backyard dreams

Poor Lucy was up all night for the second fevered night in a row. Today, after a visit to her doctor and some antibiotics for an ugly sinus infection, we spent the day cozied up in the living room listening to the lighting and thunder outside. These April showers have me dreaming of lush landscapes and hoping we can get going on the back yard sooner rather than later. After talking with our contractor this afternoon we decided that we need to completely regrade our  yard and he agreed that a low deck with a gravel bed  and a swale underneath could help deal with some of our water drainage issues. He reminded me that any deck we put in could be protected from the rubble of our future basement dig out with plywood and that a flat surface would be easier to work from than the rocky uneven dirt pile that’s there now. After our chat my mind is running wild with ideas for our tiny dirt patch! I found some images of beautiful and compact backyards that are inspiring.
1c0103a85352347b95c2459b6d66c8eb
small yard
source unknown
foras%20boerum%202
I’d like our yard to be a mix of materials – a functional low wood deck with room for the grill and the table by the back door, stone or concrete paths to the garage studio and the gate to the driveway, as well as a patch of lawn for the dog. If we can I’d like to squeeze in a few puppy proof raised planter beds so we can have a little vegetable and herb garden. Our yard is really a side yard, running along the side of our house because of the way our lot is laid out.
Our contractor spent the day cutting new roof rafters in the garage( we basically have to rebuild it from the inside out so it’s a suitable studio space for me) and otherwise reframing the space. I’m so glad that work has started again(there goes that tax refund!) It buoys my spirits to actually see some progress around here. It was also nice to focus on something else instead of endlessly refreshing news websites about the bombing in Boston. I’m not sure if it’s motherhood, IVF hormones, or most likely just being human – but every story from that day has me weeping, and squeezing my loved ones a little tighter.
I hope you and yours are happy and together, wherever you are.
xx-H
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 41 other followers